Never the Same
by DarkCollins
Summary: Slightly revised. Ace does some reflecting about herself and The Doctor after "The Curse of Fenric". Please r&r!


Disclaimer: I don't own The Doctor, Ace or Fenric.  They're all property of the BBC.  I just wanted to write about this scene from "Curse of Fenric" because it's one of the strongest and dramatic moments in all of Doctor Who-dom.  Most of the dialogue in the first half is from the 4th and final episode of the story.  Enjoy!

Never the Same 

"Kill them….slowly", Fenric said to The Ancient One.  

It was strange for Ace seeing Captain Sorin this way.  But she knew he was dead.  Glowing eyes and evil glee resonating from his voice.  Fenric had taken over his body.    

"You don't stand a chance", Ace said defiantly.  

"Tell him, Doctor.  He's got it wrong."

She saw The Doctor looking calmly unaffected.  He said nothing.   

            _He's got something up his sleeve.  I know it.  _

"The Time Lord has failed.  The wolves of Fenric have released me."

"The Doctor never fails.  I've got faith in him.  Complete faith."

The Doctor stood his ground.  He gave no reaction.    

"Kill them", ordered Fenric.

The Ancient One started to move forward but Ace clasped her hands together and let the faith in The Doctor shield herself.  The haemovore put his claws to his face and moved back.  

"He can't penetrate Ace's psychic force", The Doctor said to himself.

"Time for the one final game.  The choice is yours, Time Lord.  I will kill you anyway.  But if you would like the girl to live, kneel before me."

Ace looked at The Doctor.  

"I believe in you, Professor", she said sincerely.  

"Kneel if you want the girl to live!", Fenric said forcefully. 

The Doctor looked back at Ace disdainfully and replied calmly.  

"Kill her."

Ace blinked.  _Did I hear right??_

Fenric laughed.  "The Time Lord finally understands."  

"You think I didn't know??  The chess set in Lady Peinforte's study.  I knew."

"Earlier than that, Time Lord.  Before Cybermen, ever since Iceworld.  Where you first met the girl."

_What??!  _

"I knew.  I knew she carried the evil inside her.  You think I would've chosen a social misfit if I hadn't known?  She couldn't even pass her chemistry exams at school.  And if she manages to create a Timestorm in her bedroom, I saw your hand in it from the very beginning.

The Doctor's words were knives stabbing and twisting at her soul.

            _This isn't happening……Professor….you were my teacher…my friend…_

Fenric chuckled.  

"No…"

"She's an emotional cripple.  I wouldn't waste my time on her unless I had to use her somehow."

"NO!!!!"

Ace dropped to the floor.  She wanted to cry but couldn't.  It was like some horrible nightmare she couldn't wake up from.  Her body felt numb.  She was stunned by pain and betrayal.  The Doctor, who took her through time and space, who she cared for, who taught her to face her fears and made her stronger for it, who she had faith in….used her as a pawn.

            _That's all I was, a pawn.  _

"Kill them!", ordered Fenric again.  

_Good.  I'm dying already. _

 First she learns the baby she saved, that she promised to always love…was her own mother.  The mother she knew and remembered with hatred. And now, the best friend she ever had wasn't really her friend…ever.

But The Ancient One stepped over Ace's curled up body and backed Fenric into the glass box and closed the door to let the deadly green chemical gas kill them both.  

The Doctor kneeled down to Ace.

            "Come on, Ace.  It's over.  Let's get out of here."

            "Leave me alone", she replied quietly and bitterly. 

The Doctor grabbed her by the arm and dragged her.  

            "We've got to go!!"

            "LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!"

She picked up her rucksack and ran out the door.  They both collapsed in the mud.  Now Ace cried freely.  The Doctor sadly explained he didn't want to hurt her but her faith was keeping the haemovore back.  And this was the only way to get rid of Fenric.  

            "I didn't mean any of it", The Doctor said sincerely as he wiped her sniffley nose.  

They left 1943 war-torn Britain as the TARDIS now spun through the vortex of space.  Ace changed back into her modern clothes and French-braided her hair.  

After Ace swam in the ocean to cleanse her mixed feelings for her mother, she still couldn't be cleansed of her mixed feelings for The Doctor. 

On the one hand, she hated him for breaking her down like that.  How callously he could call her an emotional cripple and a social misfit.  Even The Doctor couldn't think of those that fast.  They had to have crossed his mind at one time or another in order to say them out loud.  And how he knew she was one of Fenric's wolves when they met on Iceworld and asked her to be his time travel companion.  Then his preoccupation with the chess set in Lady Peinforte's place.  She kept asking him what was really going on but he evaded her questions and moved the chess pieces.  "Unfinished business, Ace", he kept saying.  Now it all made sense.  And she hated him for it.  Hated him for knowing who she was and using her in his game.  She wondered if he used any of his previous companions this way.  

_Why do I stay with him then??  Why should I??  He's manipulative and distant.  All that playing the spoons and clowning around is an act.  _

But then, he was the only adult she was ever close to.  It was hard to picture any time The Doctor wasn't in her life.  He took her under his wing and gave her more direction than her own mother ever did.  He taught her how to control and redirect her anger and made her confront her fears and herself.  He also showed her the ugliness and beauty of alien civilizations.  Since joining him, she battled Daleks, Cybermen, the trigger-happy Happiness Patrol, the Kandyman, killer robot clowns, blood-sucking haemovores, got to rise out of the lake and wield Excalibur, and went back to the Victorian house she'd eventually burn down when she was thirteen.  More than anyone in Perivale could boast about.  And all through it, The Doctor was by her side.  Teaching her about life, complimenting her for her intelligence, tweaking her nose to show his affection, scolding her for acting foolish, saving her skin on many occasions, and being her best friend.  

She'd forgive him eventually.  But now it was too soon.  Things would never be the same between them.  Only now did she see The Doctor for his true self.  Yet she saw traces of humanity in him that he would bury back down almost as quickly as it would appear.  

Ace went out into the control room and saw The Doctor leaning over the console.  He looked tired.  

No wonder.  He saves the universe on a daily basis.  No vacations for "time champions".    

She put a hand on his shoulder.  He looked back.  

            "Don't you ever sleep, Professor?"

He smiled weakly and patted her hand.  

            "Sleep is for tortoises, Ace."

            "Hmm.  Where we off to now?"

            "I'm not sure.  Where would you like to go, Ace?"

            "What?"

            "It's up to you.  Choose our destination."

Ace thought a minute.  

            "Home."

            "Home?"

            "Perivale."

            "Do you mean…."

            "Just to visit.  See what the old gang is up to.  Of course if you think it'd be 

            boring…"

The Doctor shook his head and put an arm around her.  

            "To Perivale we go."

            "Thanks, Professor."

He set the coordinates as Ace turned away, trying to put the past out of her head.  

            "Ace, what's wrong?"

She didn't answer.  He walked behind her. 

            "Are you still upset?"

Ace shook her head.    

            "I didn't want to bring it up."

            "Ace, you know I didn't mean any of it."

She bit her lip and held back the tears.

"I know you didn't.  It just hurt a lot to hear it.  Humans hurt easier than Time Lords."

The Doctor kept silent for a moment.  But then he spoke lowly, almost in a whisper.  

            "I'll make it up to you, Ace.  I promise."

Ace took a deep breath before speaking.  

            "Why didn't you tell me about my mum?  And about Fenric?"

            "I didn't want you to know, Ace.  If you knew who the baby was, you would've 

            altered your own history.  Everything that made you yourself would've been 

            destroyed."

            "And that would've been bad?"

            "Ace…"

            "And making me face all that evil, at Gabriel Chase…."

The Doctor turned her around to face him.  

"So I could free you of Fenric's curse forever.  I did it for myself but most of all, I did it for you."

She looked into his eyes.  He meant it.  

Ace held back no more.  She threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly.  She didn't care anymore. The Doctor hugged her back.  

            "Thank you….Doctor."

Yes, things would never be the same between them again.  


End file.
